u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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