I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
