I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
