did you get engaged???
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
