Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Randomize
