Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Let's get the cat blown out
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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