no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
