apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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