You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
well you can't waste a boner
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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