She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
