you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
