Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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