people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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