she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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