My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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