i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
