did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
