K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
