We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
