I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
