He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
