My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
