my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
