if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
