You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
