I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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