i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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