I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
