There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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