If i come over, it means nothing
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
