Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
His nipple licking is glorious
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