the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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