Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
