eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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