Already got asked if we're dating
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
