To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
