i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
