How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Randomize
