i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
