Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
