i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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