Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
