I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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