No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
