I'm jealous of your bromance
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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