i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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