Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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