Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
