You made me cry and you don't even care
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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