she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
