my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
